Sigh

I never thought you would hate me, though. I never thought there’d come a time when you would wipe any evidence of our relationship clean from your life. And you know why? Because I never got you to really love me. That was the whole issue of the relationship. I was madly in love with you and….you were doing whatever the fuck people do when they’re dating someone they’re not obsessed with. As sad as it was, I thought that meant we could at least be on good terms after the break up. I mean, how could you ever hate something you never loved?

But I was wrong. I underestimated the power of breakups and the ripple effect they can create. Everything can be fine until one day it infects your bones and then you decide you don’t want anything to do with the person anymore. Poof! You’re gone. We can admit that this kind of shit hurts our feelings, right?)


I don’t like how bothered I am by your rejection. I feel like now, even so long after our break up, I’m still constantly wanting your approval. And to know that you don’t want to know ANYTHING that’s happening in my life, to know that I don’t have the right to even text you anymore, is devastating.

On the other hand, part of me is almost flattered that I’ve made such an impact on your life. This whole time I thought you were just some emotionless zombie who didn’t really care about me but I now know that’s not true. You don’t delete someone from your life if you don’t care about them. It makes me wonder if, in fact, you did love me in your own weird, screwed up way. Your CRUELTY and avoidance after the break up is ironically the only proof I have that I might’ve mattered to you.

So I guess keep on hating me because it’s the only thing I got from you, the only thing you ever gave me.